By Kabbalist Rabbi Yitzchak Schwartz

1.Allright, it's high time we tackled this burning issue... as usual, I’m very unprepared to tackle such a highly charged topic, so the only thing I can do is close my eyes, hold my nose and jump in the deep end----ready or not , here I come....
2. they say that about 50% of today's modern/western society's marriages end in divorce, and I hear the other 50% aren't doing so great either
3. so, we're left with no choice, but to come up with some meditations, based on authentic Jewish sources---and to see if B'H we can beam some light into all of this thick fog
4. I know that there's a lot of single people that will be reading these meditations---maybe some of you gave up on the idea of marriage altogether---so you can do one of two things;
a. see these meditations as a sort of inspirational guide for getting yourself married or at least for knowing what it takes to carry on a lifelong intimate committed relationship 
b. or else do what most people do with emails they receive, ignore them [i hope you choose the first option]
5. I don't know how extensive I'm going to get with this topic right now... i guess we'll take one step at a the first step we'll take is to bring some meditations that I feel are based on 'do or die' survival principles in marriage, as well as  meditations teaching the art of thriving in marriage...... here's wishing all of you bliss-bliss  marriage relationships.... surviving and thriving with the help of the ONE ABOVE
Be aware--------be aware that though we may have grown up thinking that our world centers around 'ME', and whatever I do, see, think, feel and say, it's all about what's in it for me....but to survive in marriage, the ME has to turn into WE
see------------see WE in everything you do, feel, experience, think and say.....see what's in it for WE ...see what's bothering WE....see what WE can do to get the most out of it....practice opening up this psychic space of WE  and the next 10 times that ME comes up, substitute WE ...and carry on like this until you make the shift
Be aware----------be aware that when a spouse turns their partner into king and queen, raising up their honor and adoration and love at least as much as their own, if not more so, then the spouse will not only lovingly do the same to their partner, but they actually will bring out their true royal selves, and also free up each other to live their respective lives fully, rather than wasting all their life’s energies to get that long lost respect and adoration from each other
see--------------see how so very special your partner truly is....see how you take advantage of every opportunity to let them know it; sometimes in words, sometimes in deeds, sometimes in nonverbal communication.....see what you can do to bring out their very best sides, their very best talents, their very best traits.....see what you can do to make them feel that you are doing all in your power to make them feel royal
Be aware-----------be aware that marriage is forever, even beyond 'till death do us part'...forever...and once marriage becomes another 'if it's not working, i let it go', or 'i deserve better than this, so i'm out of here' phenomenon, like so many other  throwaway realms of today's society, then you might as well give it up before you start---or at least make sure you get a good prenuptial agreement--'just in case'.....but if you know it's forever no matter what--you're going to somehow learn how to MAKE IT WORK.....
see----------------see your marriage as lasting forever.....see how those bumps in the road aren't really that bumpy once you know that you're going to be together forever, and you both figure out how to smooth out the bumps....see how the passage of time causes your marriage to mature like the finest of old wines....see how the more of life that you spend together with your 'one and only', the more your mutual love grows and grows
Be aware----------------be aware that you and your beloved were brought together by THE ONE ABOVE--2 long lost partners reunited---2 that used to be one, learning to become one aware that  G-d doesn't stop matchmaking you after the wedding is over, but keeps at it all of your lives, every day and at all times, G-d is causing you to fuse and bond together in new and varied ways that you never even dreamed about
see------------------see  your spouse as your soul partner....see that life is full of opportunities of bonding in new and different ways...see that you are being constantly blessed [if you only open up your receptive powers to let G-d in] with G-d's guidance on how to bond in new and different and deeper ways with your spouse.....the guidance will come to you in 'flashes' of signs, in conversations that are addressed to you or addressed to someone else but meant for you...and in many other ways
Be aware---------------be aware that despite the common notion that we need to first 'fall in love' in order to be motivated to give to our beloved, our Sages teach us exactly the opposite-----in order to truly love someone, we need to give to them [the word love AHAVA--comes from the root HAV which means give] ....the more that we care and give and keep giving with all of our hearts, the more we love them
see------------------see yourself thoroughly enjoying the act of giving to your beloved, not because you get something in return, just because it is so nice just to give and to see your beloved receiving what you give them....see yourself becoming more and more of an ecstatic, paradised and expert giver as time goes on---a giver who is causing so much love to be born into your marriage and your world---mutual profound love....see how your love grows stronger and stronger with every passing day....

Back to Main JTM page.